literally just talking! 12/7/21.
song of the day: hello! wink! - poppin party + COMIC PANIC!!! - afterglow
feeling:
trigger warning for mental health topics
IT IS OFFICIALLY SEVEN DAYS FROM MY BIRTHDAY. im so fucking excited for real... i used to really dread my birtjday because nobody really remembered it besides me growing up, but my outlook has changed because i have good friends who are there for me now, and i have things i want to DOOOO on my birthday (aka talk to my girlfriend and go to taco bell. STILL!) i dont know. being almost 17 is really scary because im so goddamn close to being an adult, but i think im beginning to get my shit in order. i have a couple credits at school i still need to make up because i missed a few years, but when im done with it maybe i will go to college for my dream job (being a substitute teacher, its silly but im passionate about it) and i will find my way. i dunno, for a long time i dreaded (like DREADED) this, but my future is as bright as anyone elses and i wont let a couple years of bad mental heath ruin my outlook on that. im excited and scared and happy and i could really cry thinking about this. i never really thought my ass would get to 17? like logically of course i would, but i spent the majority of 5th grade through freshman year in and out of the ward with varying problems related to le brain, i never thought id make it to a place where i can officially say that im about to be an adult and i have hope in my future. but i do, and thats really important to me, because i not only have hope in my future but i have someone i want to spend my future with as well. which is cheesy as SHIT but its true. sorry for the major word vomit and lack of proper spacing, ill probably go back and edit this a little later. until then!